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Love and Valentine’s Day

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By Obienyem Valentine
Those who bear the name Valentine dread the month of February like a plague. Besides close friends who always demand that you celebrate your name in grand style, most confront you with all manner of questions bordering on the concept that your name is supposed to embody. Thus, you are asked whether you were born on the 14th of February or whether you were a by-product of a love affair that took place in the month of February. One fact I have come to discover over the years is that people take those who bear the name of Valentine as experts in all known techniques of love, starting with its fundamentals to its metaphysics.
Despite much research, we cannot tell unequivocally the exact date the feast started, nor the route by which it entered into history. Perhaps it is connected to the life of a certain St. Valentine who was said to have suffered martyrdom in Rome as the Church hagiography would want us to believe. Perhaps, as the legend of the saint’s heroic faith says, it grew out of the love shown to prisoners by the saintly Valentine. Perhaps it has to do with the period in the year when birds of the earth look for mates. Perhaps it is another case of substitution of a pagan feast by Christian feast as a subtle way of blighting paganism at the bud. We do not know. Valentine’s Day is part of history whose beginning has been forgotten, and whose end we shall never reach.
The popularity of Valentine’s Day could be linked to the nature of the theme it celebrates – love. Writing about love, Archbishop Fulton Sheen called it “the most used, and the most misunderstood word.” The misunderstanding inherent in the nature of love often provokes people to ask questions such as: How much of what we claim as love is love indeed? Does love have different levels and spheres? Is it possible to love our neighbor as ourselves, as the Holy writ prescribes? What is love? These are the questions with which the most comprehensive theories, treatises, and analyses of love find it necessary to begin.
To the Greeks, love could be Eros, Philia, and agape. Plato’s ladder of love in the “Symposium” has different loves for its rungs, up to what we commonly call “Platonic Love”. St Thomas Aquinas distinguishes between love in the sphere of passion and love as an act of will. The former he assigns to what he calls the “concupiscible faculty” of the sensitive appetite; the latter, to the rational or “intellectual appetite”. Sometimes, people talk about metaphysical, contemplative, material, and acquisitive love, etc.
Whatever form love takes, it implies a complex psychical experience of strong attraction to, intense desire for, vivid appreciation of, a profound interest in, one’s object of love. The object of love could be a fellow being, institution, cause, or even nature. It involves tender affection, sympathetic understanding, admiration, and loyalty, with reference to its object.
But apart from a few people who recognize the fact of plurality of love in their analyses, most of us, especially the youth, talk abundantly of love, commonly in the sense of amorous appetite. These are people who confess their loving the object of their love more than their own mothers. Recall the “sugar in my tea” and similar stuff. Our elders consider this form of love to be a form of “possession” or “madness”, and would frown at anyone who would propose it as a fit guide in the choice of a marriage mate. They do this, knowing that once the erotic side of love diminishes or fades away altogether, the disinterested element fades too; interest in the other’s happiness evaporates, all tender feeling is eroded, and the one desire is to get away. This is what Lucretius called “erotic befuddlement”. What Dedriot deridedly described as “the voluptuous loss of a few drops of liquid.” It is a spark thrown off by the contact or nearness of two opposite bodies.
In pursuit of this type of love, there is nothing that human beings have not done, or are not capable of doing. The love potion that some ladies brew for men they suspect of unrequited love has no platonic aim. It is not out of generosity, rather to get the object of their longing, that men spend lots of money in wooing women. Women themselves do as much. To attract men, they dress in manners to arouse precipitate passion. Eyelashes are darkened with gum ammonia. Cheeks and lips are painted with sticks of minium or alkanet roots. Adjustable eyebrows are used and often pencilled with lampblack or pulverized or sulphuret of antimony, sometimes it is thinned to diverse shapes or shaved off entirely and painted “crescent moons” or other forms. Eyelids are shaded with kohl. All sorts of things are rubbed on the face, in the hope that it will make them look beautiful. Some in the villages still wrap their fingernails overnight with henna leaves to make them purple. Padded brassieres are used to make the breast look poised and … Breast enhancement has since become part of beauty regimen. There is no part of the woman’s body, in pursuit of men, that has not been perfected, decorated, refined, stretched and squeezed, bleached, reformed, compacted, and shortened.
Higher than the afore-described love is what is often called genuine friendship. In this type of love, there is often the predominance of altruistic motives. It springs from mutual admiration. Here, love is thought to precede desire and to determine its wishes. Marriages built upon this type of love are often successful. Mature lovers discover that marriage transcends the act of multiplication of the species or the fantasy of sexual acts. There are some men who think that all a woman appreciates in a man is when he brandishes the erectile organ to her satisfaction. No. Marriage is more than that. It demands deep understanding and maturity from both partners.
All the foregoing classifications and distinctions, inexhaustible though, belong to the theory of human love. But the fact of love’s diversity extends to the Christian theory of love. Christianity brought about a basic shift in man’s thinking about love. Christianity sees love not in the emotion or passion, but from the infinite perfection and creativity of God. Writing to the Corinthians (2 Cor 13: 6) St Paul said that “love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth…” God Himself is love (I John 4: 4). “Love ye one another”. In this profound sentence, God summarized all the commandments. Love rules the world and was, perhaps, as Parmenides thought, “the very first thing created by the gods to rule the world”.
The key to peace in the world is for men to embrace the ethics of Christ – love. Confucius taught a version of it in his rule of reciprocity (golden rule). Immanuel Kant espoused it in his book, The Metaphysics of Morals in what he called the “Maxims of Categorical Imperative”. All great religions teach it. Until we start to imbibe this golden rule (love), the battle to re-make the world can as well be labelled a utopia.
The sooner we use the day of Valentine to promote this type of love, the better the world will become.
Obienyem, journalist, businessman and public affairs analyst, wrote from Awka, Anambra State

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Boiling Rivers: Remember history, avoid 1966, Bode George tells Tinubu

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President Bola Tinubu, must avoid the pitfalls that to the bloody coup that truncated the first republic by immediately halting the current conflagration going on in Rivers State, following last Saturday’s elections that produced new executive leaderships for the 23 local government areas in Rivers State.

The admonition came from Olabode George, a retired soldier and former Military Governor of Ondo State, as he weighed into the crisis, following reports of massive violence in the oil-rich state, including the burning down of some local government headquarters by hoodlums.

George, Deputy National Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), palpably disturbed by the development, particularly urged the President to call Nyesom Wike, Minister of Federal Capital Territory (FCT), fingered as key figure in the crisis to order before he plunged the state into further cataclysm, which could eventually affect the nation’s democracy negatively.

The retired naval officer, told the President: “Now that people of Rivers State have boldly asserted their civic and constitutional rights by coming out to vote in the local government election on Saturday, this is the time for the former governor of the state and now FCT Minister, Nyesom Wike, to allow Governor Siminalayi Fubara to work and deliver dividends of democracy to the people.

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“This is also the time for President Bola Tinubu to advise Wike, who is one of his ministers, to allow the governor to work. I say this with all sense of responsibility because if this democracy is truncated, God forbid, Tinubu, as the Commander-in-Chief, will be the biggest loser.”

He added: “All lovers of democracy will agree with me that political happenings in this oil-bearing state in the last few months, if allowed to continue, can lead to a re-enactment of the crisis in the defunct Western Region between 1962 and 1966, which eventually led to the first military coup of January 15, 1966. Many of our national figures were killed, and events of that day led to a second coup on July 29, 1966, when scores of military officers were killed.

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“Since history is no longer taught in our schools, I want to remind the gladiators in this Rivers crisis that the January and July 1966 killings eventually led to the Civil War between July 6, 1967, and January 15, 1970. Close to two million Nigerians died in the war.

“I’m raising the alarm about what is currently happening in Rivers due to its seriousness. This is a man-made crisis, designed to create a conflagration that may eventually consume the country due to the economic importance of Rivers to the survival of this nation and being the gateway to the Niger Delta.

“It is good to have political ambition, to be the alpha and omega in a partisan setting, but such ambition must not be at variance with the expectations of the people. Any threat to peace in Rivers State will eventually lead to huge security implications, not only for Nigeria but West Africa and Africa.

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“Some have said what is happening can be traced to the 2027 elections’ calculations. I believe it is too early to start strategising for a partisan event, which is still close to 28 months away.

“One thing is clear: Nyesom Wike was governor of the state for eight years. He left the Government House in May last year, and today he is the FCT Minister. Sir Peter Odili and Rotimi Amaechi were governors before him. Now that Governor Fubara is the Chief Executive of the state, he should be allowed to work. Nobody stays in office forever.

“By 2027, the people of Rivers State will decide, through their votes, if they want him to return to office or not. This is how political issues and ambitions are handled in civilised climes. The way this partisan crisis is going, if not checked, may collapse our democracy. Now that council chairmen and councillors have been elected, I appeal to Nyesom Wike to please give peace a chance.

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“Tinubu must also call Wike and tell him to allow the governor to work. It is that Wike sponsored and supported Fubara to become governor, but somebody also supported Wike to be governor from 2015 to 2023, while somebody also nominated him to serve as minister. God will always use somebody to help anybody, but nobody is God.

“I recall years ago, I had to travel all over the country to canvass for votes when I wanted to be the PDP National Chairman, only to discover that there was a gang-up against me a few days before the party’s convention, leading to my withdrawal from the race. Wike, Uche Secondus, who eventually became the party chairman, some senators, and others came to my Abuja house to beg me. What I did was to ask Rev. Bunmi Jenyo, who was in my house that day, to pray for them. Since then, I have not left the party. That is the way I play my politics because nobody is God.

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“It is because of this crisis in Rivers that the PDP lost out in the October 5 council elections because we didn’t field candidates. Elders in our party should also advise Wike on the way forward. Look at what happened during the September 21 governorship election in Edo State. The exercise was brazenly manipulated, and this is because some of our members allowed it to happen. Inordinate ambition is affecting some of our people.

“I am appealing to Wike to please let this crisis be a thing of the past. The democracy we enjoy today, many people suffered to bring it to fruition. Some even died. We should not be seen dancing on their graves because of partisan interests. Only God knows what will happen in 2027 because He is greater, wiser, and more powerful than all of us.”

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Calling on Justice Kudirat Kekere-Ekun, the new Chief Justice of Nigeria (CJN) to call some judicial officers to order, expressing disgust concerning conflicting court rulings on the recently held council election in Rivers State, he wondered how courts of the same jurisdiction, having the same powers, could be giving conflicting orders on a similar suit, adding judiciary must remain above board as the last hope of the common man.

“This is also the time for the new Chief Justice of Nigeria to call some judicial officers to order. A High Court in Rivers gave an order that the council election must hold. A Federal High Court in faraway Abuja gave another order that security agents must not provide security during the election. How can courts of the same jurisdiction, having the same powers, be giving conflicting orders on a similar suit?

“Judges should not allow politicians to influence them to be giving conflicting judgements. As the last hope of the common man, the judiciary should be above board. Once again, I am appealing to Wike to look at the larger interests in this crisis. He should not allow himself to be used and dumped by the APC.

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“This is also the time for Tinubu to see himself as the father of all. My prayer for Governor Fubara is for God to continue to direct and protect him in this political journey. Your calmness of purpose and humility will continue to endear you to the people. The political storm in Rivers must disappear immediately, in the interest of all Nigerians.”

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BREAKING: Go and secure Rivers, Tinubu orders police *Keeps mum on Wike

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President Bola Tinubu has ordered men of the Nigerian Police Force (NPF) to move into Rivers and secure the state against rampaging hoodlums setting fire on headquarters of local government areas, apparently to stop the newly-inaugurated council executives from taking office.

Tinubu’s order was conveyed in a statement by Bayo Onanuga, his spokesman, on a day he also called on Siminalayi Fubara, Governor of the state “political leaders” and their supporters to exercise restraint and uphold the rule of law, without mentioning Nyesom Wike, Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), who has been fingered in the crisis.

Part of the statement, read: “In response to recent tensions following last Saturday’s local government council election, the President expressed deep concern over reports of arson and explosions in the state. He urged all political actors to de-escalate the situation and discourage their supporters from engaging in violence or destructive actions.

“President Tinubu directed the police to restore and maintain peace, law, and order immediately. While instructing law enforcement agencies to bring the situation under control, he emphasised the need to ensure the security of public institutions.

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“President Tinubu said government facilities built with public funds must be safeguarded from vandalism. He stressed that self-help has no place in a democratic system, especially after 25 years of continuous democracy. According to President Tinubu, the judiciary can settle all political disputes, and the outcome of this election should be no exception.”

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BREAKING: Police silent, as more LG HQs go up in flames in Rivers

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Authorities of the Rivers State Police Command, have continued to keep mute as more local government area headquarters go up in flames, apparently as a fallout to the commencement of new administrations in the 23 councils of the state.

What started from the Eleme Local Government Headquarters, on Monday morning, which was torched by unknown arsonists, has spread to other places, including the newly-built council secretariat at Isiokpo in the Ikwerre Local Government Area, which has also gone up in flames.

Channels Television, quoting a resident of the area, as confirming a video making the rounds about the burning council headquarters.

The incident, which is coming hours after policemen that have been keeping vigil at the councils were withdrawn on Monday morning on the orders of Kayode Egbetokun, the Inspector General of Police (IGP), also claimed part of Emohua Local Government Council secretariat, where some youths were said to have blocked the entrance chanting songs in solidarity of Nyesom Wike, Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) and insisting that the new chairman David Omereji would not be allowed to take office.

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A video, which has gone viral on social media, indicating where the current firepower is coming, showed the youths in the Emohua council, who have barricaded the entrance to the secretariat, chanting “No Wike, No Rivers State!!”

There no indications however that the police have either arrested any of the hoodlums or any statement explaining the volatile situation, which is coming on the heels of the inauguration of the 23 members of the councils by Siminalayi Fubara, Governor of the State, on Sunday, following their individual victories at the local government elections a day earlier.

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Justice Peter Lifu of the Federal High Court, Abuja, had on Monday last week, barred the Nigerian Police Force (NPF) from providing security in the state during the local government elections of Saturday, alongside the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), which was also barred from providing the voters register for the exercise.

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